- How long can I expect the colors to last?
A good long time if you use discretion in picking out who will tattoo you, as well as taking care of your tattoo after you get it, mainly protecting it from the sun.
- What are the different styles of tattoos?
There are lots of them, Tribal, Fineline, Classic, Realist, East Coast, West Coast, blah, blah, blah. Don’t feel restricted by styles -- do what you want. Go to a tattooist who can do what you want, regardless of style.
- How can I tell if a shop is clean?
Run your finger along the top of the door jamb. If it gets stuck, it’s dirty. Look for sterilization equipment. If anything is touched with bloody gloves and not thrown out, run.
- What’s an autoclave? How is it used in tattooing?
An autoclave is a sterilizer which uses heat and pressure to kill any microbes and/or pathogens on equipment. If a tattoo shop doesn’t have one, run.
- How can I tell that the needles being used are new and clean?
Ask your tattooist to show you sterilization equipment. Watch them take your needles and tubes out of sterilization pouches with indicators on them. Watch them put together their machines. Don’t assume anything when your health is on the line.
- I have an idea in my head. Will a tattooist work with me on a design?
Find a tattooist whose style you like, talk to them about your idea and let them draw it for you (or draw it yourself). Don’t be afraid to voice your ideas.
- How long does a tattoo take?
Anywhere from 30 seconds to your whole life. How much money do you have?
- What if I don’t like my tattoo after it’s done?
Oh, that sucks, because basically you’re SOL (Shit outta luck). Make sure everything is satisfactory BEFORE you begin. And keep an open mind -- tattoos are a handmade product, so a little artistic influence from your tattooist is a good thing. Best to let her/him do their stuff.
- How do I get past the bikers at the door without getting my ass kicked?
Sometimes we all need a good ass kicking to remind us of our mortality. If you think this doesn’t apply to you, remember, when in Rome.... If you have a bicycle, ride to the shop and you’ll have something in common with them.
- How can I spot a good tattoo/tattooist?
Good tattoos should have clean, even lines and smooth, solid colors. Always look at photographs of a tattooist's work before getting tattooed by that person. Check to see that figures are drawn in proper proportion and that the tattooist is willing to spend time communicating with you and finding out what you want.
- How can I see examples of a tattooist’s work?
Most tattooists have photo portfolios. Look through them.
- Do they let anyone in tattoo parlors?
No drunks or druggies, and we prefer that people bathe regularly.
- It’s four days after my tattoo and my skin is peeling. Is this normal?
Yes. The top layers of skin at this point are dead and will fall off. Like when a sunburn peels. It will itch for a few days -- just put some lotion on and don’t scratch it! You may find that there is some pigment in the skin that peels off -- since pigment has been deposited at every layer of the epidermis, it is only natural that some of it will come off the top layers.
- My new tattoo itches. What should I do?
Don’t scratch it! Put some lotion on as often as necessary. It’ll be fine after a few days.
- Should I pick the colors or should I leave that up to the artist?
It’s a good idea to suggest colors to the artist and work with them to decide which colors would be best for your tattoo.
- What did people do before toilet paper was invented?
Some people would use leaves and others would use their hands, but I had a friend who swore that corn cobs were by far the cleanest and most starfish friendly substitute known.
- Will you tattoo people’s faces? How about hands?
Only in extreme circumstances, such as to cover up a gang insignia, etc. Tattooed faces and hands are not for everyone.
- Do those tattoo kits you can order in the magazines really work?
Most of them come with everything you really need to scar your friend’s bodies forever -- without an experienced professional to show you how to set things up properly it will be a long haul before you figure it out on your own. Please take the time, effort, and sometimes money, to find an apprenticeship.
- How can I get started in tattooing?
Find an experienced tattooist and get an apprenticeship. Don’t try to do it alone or your friends will hate you after they see how shitty the tattoo you just gave them is.
- Who gets more tattoos in your shop, men or women?
Roughly equal numbers of men and women get tattooed, although far greater numbers of men get large custom tattoos. We wish more women would, though, because heavily tattooed women are cool. (The editor seconds that opinion.)
- I’m 15 years old and I’ve been saving my money. Will you tattoo me?
Hell, no. You’re not done growing yet and the tattoo could possibly distort as you grow. Plus the law requires that you be over 18, with or without parental consent. Sorry.
- But I'm really ready for a tattoo at 15!! Come on...
No. In the meantime, why don't you experiment with either big temporary tattoos, Sharpies, or henna. Have someone draw big designs on you in different placement on your body. Look at them in the mirror and see how they look. That way, when you do turn 18, you'll know just where a tattoo looks best on you.
- Isn’t it true that only rebels have tattoos?
Why of course it is.
- Should I get drunk before getting tattooed to kill the pain of the needle?
Drinking might make you somewhat braver but it only hinders your body from dealing with the pain. Besides, we won’t tattoo you if you’ve been drinking. One because it thins the blood, making you possibly bleed more, and second, because drunks rarely sit still.
- What can I do to keep my tattoo from fading? What if my tattoo fades over the years?
I recommend using a strong sunblock whenever you are exposed to the sun, and generally taking good care of your skin. It is possible to get it redone, and then just take really good care of it.
- I have an old discolored tattoo. What can I do to make it look better?
Come by, let us take a look, and the chances are we will be able to fix it up and make it look brand new again.
- Do you do cover-up work on old tattoos?
Yes, all the time. People are always coming in with a poor tattoo that they want fixed up.
- What are tattoo conventions like?
Tattoo conventions are a great time. Lots of interesting people, lots of fun things to do, lots of great artists. It’s like one big tattoo party.
- Should I go to a tattoo convention?
Certainly, as long as it’s a highly recommended convention. Some conventions are poorly put together and may not present tattooing in the best light. Get a tattoo magazine and check out their listing for one near you.
- How do you feel about branding? How is it done?
You’ve got to mark your cattle somehow! What you do is you heat up the branding iron in the fire (don’t tip over the chicory!) until it glows red, and then apply the end (the hot one) to the rump of a properly restrained cow or steer. Then, inhale and think about spare ribs.
- How do you feel about scarification? Is this safe?
If done right, it’s safe. If done wrong, it can kill you. Be careful, patronize shops with knowledgeable and reputable staff, ONLY!!!!
- Do you do piercings in your shop?
No we don’t.
- Do genital piercings really make sex feel better? How about tongue piercings?
Well, I’m not sure about tongue piercings, but from what I understand, genital piercings seem to heighten some sensations.
- Will I pee crooked if I get my penis pierced?
You most certainly will.
- Why do so many athletes praise Jesus after winning a game, but never blame him when they lose? How come they never praise/blame Satan?
It all comes down to a fear of god. If they blamed Jesus, they would be afraid that god would be angry (and when god is pissed, you better duck) and send them straight to hell.
- Why do you have tattoos?
The same reason as everyone else... so I can look tough.
- Should I get a tattoo?
Let me think.... Yes.
- Does getting a tattoo make me a freak?
Freakism comes from the inside. You’ll have to try a little harder than that.
- What should I consider before getting a tattoo?
Consider who you will be in 20 years, consider who you are now -- the tattoo that all of your friends have may not be the right one for you. Don’t be afraid to step away from the typical tattoo imagery. Consider the use of metaphor and subtle meaning -- don’t limit or disservice yourself by sticking with what’s been done or said with tattooing in the past. Also consider what a tattoo means to you, don’t get something just because it’s wild and crazy and outlandish, or will shock your family. Be dignified in your decisions and consider the rich history behind tattooing and Fine Art in general. Educate yourself and know your motivations. If a Tazmanian Devil is what will enrich your life, and you have made this decision intelligently, then by all means that’s the tattoo for you. Be open to tattooists suggestions. They know more than you think. (This diatribe brought to you by Dan.)
- Don’t tattooed people belong in the circus?
Life is a circus and I am the human cannonball.
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